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All Ages

How Do We Help Our Children Navigate Through This Time?

August 1, 2020 | Navigating Feelings

Heck! How do we help ourselves?

I know I started this [quarantine / pandemic] lockdown raring and ready to go with all the projects I wanted to finish, and all the daily workouts I was going to finally find time for, and all of the quality time my daughter and I would spend together.  Now almost three months in, I have failed…

I have so many projects started, I can’t even walk around parts of my house.  My daughter spends more time away from me than with me… and the workouts… how about weekly?  But approaching it with this mindset is not the way to make any progress, and if our goal is to end up helping our children through this, we must be sure we are good first.

So first things first…

Find what makes you feel good!

The things you may have relied on before may need to be tweaked due to lack of mobility.  We are all used to more routines than we typically make for ourselves in our new home life.  Sure we have our morning routines and our evening routines at home, but what do we do for 8, 10, 12 hours during the day?  Well, that has certainly changed now.  Yet the need for a routine is still there; not just for you, but for your child(ren) as well.

Start Proposing & Posting Your Plans

I am one who works better in the morning than at night, and I also like my alone time in the morning.  This is when I can make my plan for the day.  If you are more of a night owl, make yours the night before and awake knowing what you are doing for the day. 

Post this plan.  I literally painted one of my walls with chalkboard paint since “Shelter in Place”, so I could do just this.  That wall is where I write the plan for my day and the plan for my daughter’s day.  When she wakes, she often adds or subtracts things, but we come to an agreement this way and know where to steer throughout the day.

Planning A Schedule 101 : What To Include For Your Family

  • Exercise: Part of the plan is getting some sort of exercise in for each of us.  Since my daughter is 13, I am not at the top of her list for exercise partners; I just find the motivation to do so on my own (walking the dog, gardening, cleaning up the garage, or sometimes an actual workout online) and encourage her to do the same.  Now if you have little ones, the “exercising” for you translates to “play” for them.  Although this can be tiring — especially to the point you are now responsible for doing it each and every day — try to keep in mind you are making memories too.

Besides this, it depends on the day…

  • Work/School Work is in there somewhere.
  • Fun-Finding: Themed-dinners (including attire — one of my favorites was a scary-movie dinner where my daughter dressed as the girl who always runs the wrong way — haaa!) instrument trying (again), puzzles, board games, online games with friends, name that tune, baking, cooking, planning, dreaming, planting, cleaning, organizing, and on and on…

Be prepared to adapt your original plan!

Despite our best efforts, [there] comes the day when our child(ren) are not doing ok… no matter how we are feeling, we have to step into “parent-role” — where’s the cape for that?

  • Verbal Check-Ins: Give them the chance to talk… even if what they are saying is not making sense or is not realistic, let them get it out. As a parent, we often want to just help, make it better… yet, with our new reality that is not always possible. Listen, love, be there… Let them know it’s ok to not be ok.
  • Physical Comfort: Holding your baby — no matter how old — may be enough. When it’s not, what is?
  • Impromptu Activities: Perhaps a loved one has been lost.  Decide together a nice way to remember that person.  Maybe write a letter or a poem, tell a story, paint a picture, cook, listen to a song, plant something and watch it grow, remember (and maybe do) anything that makes you remember the loved one.  Perhaps they are just missing friends, or family, or teachers they usually see more often.  Schedule a time to talk on the phone or meet online or even do any of the above-mentioned items.
  • Follow-Ups: Check in on your child(ren).  Even after they seem ok.  Be sure.  Remind them of your love.  And be sure you are loving to yourself so you CAN be there for them, though! 

Everyone stay safe and take care out there…one way or another, we ARE all in this together.

Beth H, NEW BOOK JOY Guest Contributor






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