Generosity - Guest Contributor - What's the Most Generous Gesture You Can Make?

“I’ve found true generosity comes from a place of love, but sometimes we don’t even realize how to best be generous”…

I was walking down the street the other day, when I noticed a woman asking others for change. Some gave her a few dollars or coins from their pockets; others looked the other way and acted as if the woman was invisible…

What is more generous? Upon first glance, one would think the person who helped the woman financially was obviously more generous, but why didn’t the others give money? Were they embarrassed that someone who lives in the same area as them is in such a financial state that she has to ask strangers for money? Were they disgusted that this woman doesn’t hold down a job when employers are practically begging for employees? Any chance they thought or were raised to not take handouts no matter how down in the dumps they find themselves? Possibly…possibly… and possibly…

I’ve found true generosity comes from a place of love, but sometimes we don’t even realize how to best be generous. I’ll never forget when my daughter was a child and I’d just gotten her set up with a Leggo set instead of playing with her myself when she turned to me to say, “Mommy, all you ever do is work or clean.” In between grading essays, I thought, “that’s not true, she just doesn’t understand what it takes to be an adult and a mom.” Then, my thoughts took over any misplaced comma or forgotten period, and I thought again…

My baby is telling me I’m not there when she wants me to be; when she wants to spend time with me; when she holds me as the center of her universe. At that point, I put my work aside–until after she’d gone to bed, that is, with a pot of coffee brewing in the kitchen–and picked up a few Leggos to add to her castle already in progress. That weekend, I called my neighbors to see who they used monthly to clean their house, and I booked them as soon as possible. I decided I would not spend weekends cleaning my house, and I even figured out one of my paid extracurriculars to drop. I thought by having a pretty home for her to look back upon or by being able to buy more or better for her I was best spending my time for her, but this was not true. My child specifically told me this. She just wanted my time. Me giving her time was me being the generosity she needed and deserved.

No matter how much time one spends putting together the most thoughtful, even generous gift if that person just drops it off at the door, is it generous? Sure, the “thank-you” will still be sent, but is that generous or is it just checking a box? Genuine, sincere, interactions are always the best…

Recently, my department at work forgot our colleague’s birthday. In a race to make up for the guilt, I ordered food for the next day, put together a presentation honoring her and acknowledging our screw-up, assigned others to decorate, and bought her a belated gift to hopefully make up for our absent-mindedness. That morning I needed one last person’s picture to add to the Power Point. She was not available because she was chatting with the belated birthday girl in her office. I tried waving at her to come my direction; tried calling her on the phone; even tried others to get her out of the belated birthday girl’s office. But she was just sitting there chatting away with the birthday girl. Ugh! I just wanted to get this “stuff” to show our love and generosity! She was instead taking time to talk and find out how the birthday was, what was good and bad in her life, letting her know she was cared for by those who surround her every day.

What was more generous?

Time. Time is the most generous gift. Not looking the other way or checking a box. Taking time for those who need us is the most generous. It’s actually monetarily free for us, but it means more than any dollar and fill. Do we have the time to fulfill the love we feel for our loved ones, or are we taking the easier, less generous way?